Sometimes there are moments in my life that I realize are perfectly good metaphors even if I don't intend them to be. Today was one of those examples.
In the town I work in, there was some fancy-schmancy car show. Which meant that there was ZERO parking in the garage behind the store.
Let me rephrase that: people assumed that there was ZERO parking in the garage. Because the upper two levels were all full.
I pulled in the garage and watched people frantically drive in circles looking for a spot. Or stalking some poor soul as they walked to put something back in their car.
When I got into work, my boss asked me if I had any trouble parking. "Of course not," I shrugged, "I parked in the lower level. Nobody ever parks there."
One of my coworkers walked in and apologized for being late because they couldn't find parking. They watched people circling and drove away to park waaaaaaay far away from the store.
I laughed to myself and realized that when you are watching other people go in circles or want to run the opposite direction, turn left. There's probably parking in the lower level.
Showing posts with label interesting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interesting. Show all posts
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Things Not To Do At Movie Theaters
Apparently, we need a refresher on how to behave when watching a movie in public.
Folks - it's not the same as when you're at home, okay?
1) Cellphones.For all that is holy, put it away. Got that? Put. It. Away. I don't care if you're checking a quick text message. The theater is dark and that bright screen is searing my retinas. If it's that important, go outside. Oh. And if you forgot to put your phone on silent...you will be flogged. And humiliated.
2) Keep Your Shoes On. Good God, man, I do not need to see and/or smell that. Especially if you're sitting next to me. Look, I get the need to feel comfortable. I do. However...if you can't go for about 2 hours or so without taking off your shoes - that is a serious problem my friend. One that should be addressed. Immediately.
3.) Sit Still. This is only exempt if I am at Pikachu Meets My Little Ponys At Disneyworld On A Magical Rainbow Of Bubbles And Candy. At that point I can expect to be surrounded by a gazillion hyper, sugar fueled children. If I am sitting in a theater waiting to watch a non-children movie, sit still. Don't mimic the horses galloping by pretending you're riding one. I don't care if you're 12, your parents should have taught you how to behave in public.
4.) Open Your Snacks BEFORE The Movie Starts. Okay. So this one isn't a crime so much as a courtesy. I know it's not your fault that they have sealed your chocolate covered cheese doodles in the world's loudest plastic. But you are aware of this when every time you move the damn bag it breaks the sound barrier several times. Just do everyone a favor, and open it beforehand.
Please, keep all of this in mind. And, if you don't, do not be surprised if my foot goes through the back of your chair next time you're at the multiplex. You've been warned.
Folks - it's not the same as when you're at home, okay?
1) Cellphones.For all that is holy, put it away. Got that? Put. It. Away. I don't care if you're checking a quick text message. The theater is dark and that bright screen is searing my retinas. If it's that important, go outside. Oh. And if you forgot to put your phone on silent...you will be flogged. And humiliated.
2) Keep Your Shoes On. Good God, man, I do not need to see and/or smell that. Especially if you're sitting next to me. Look, I get the need to feel comfortable. I do. However...if you can't go for about 2 hours or so without taking off your shoes - that is a serious problem my friend. One that should be addressed. Immediately.
3.) Sit Still. This is only exempt if I am at Pikachu Meets My Little Ponys At Disneyworld On A Magical Rainbow Of Bubbles And Candy. At that point I can expect to be surrounded by a gazillion hyper, sugar fueled children. If I am sitting in a theater waiting to watch a non-children movie, sit still. Don't mimic the horses galloping by pretending you're riding one. I don't care if you're 12, your parents should have taught you how to behave in public.
4.) Open Your Snacks BEFORE The Movie Starts. Okay. So this one isn't a crime so much as a courtesy. I know it's not your fault that they have sealed your chocolate covered cheese doodles in the world's loudest plastic. But you are aware of this when every time you move the damn bag it breaks the sound barrier several times. Just do everyone a favor, and open it beforehand.
Please, keep all of this in mind. And, if you don't, do not be surprised if my foot goes through the back of your chair next time you're at the multiplex. You've been warned.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
25 Things I Learned In 25 Years
So, I had my birthday on Saturday. It was my 25th birthday, as a matter of fact. In honor of that, I've compiled a list of things I've learned in these 25 years I've spent on the planet.
Without further ado:
1.) That pan that you have in the 500 degree oven really is as hot as you think it is.
2.) If all else fails, turn on Eric Clapton.
3.) Sometimes, clutching your favorite stuffed animal and having a good cry is the only solution.
4.) In the immortal words of my best friend Amy, "We may not be able to drink the pain away, but we can sure as hell numb it." Especially true when accompanied by a bottle of wine.
5.) People who consider themselves cultural elitists (aka those whose opinion on music/movies/TV is far superior to yours) are closed minded jerks who are missing the true point. As long as it makes you feel something and brings you joy how can that be bad?
6.) Chocolate can solve all the world's problems.
7.) No matter how big a deal you make out of the major moments in life, the things you'll remember most are the little things.
8.) Nothing beats a midnight run to McDonald's for sweet tea and fries.
9.) Having your heart shattered to bits sucks.
10.) Always make time for shoe shopping.
11.) Bullies are a way of helping you realize your inner strength.
12.) Never try to explain migraines to someone who has never had one. They think they're just really bad headaches. They're not.
13.) Find a place (or places) on the planet that you love. They make bad days/moments/weeks/months/years better knowing that they exist.
14.) Laugh, for chrissakes.
15.) Have a favorite movie.
16.) Listen.
17.) When the world is closing in and you feel like it can't get better: go for a drive. Turn the radio up as loud as it can go and roll the windows down. And drive. Fast.
18.) Always have a favorite baseball team (go Cubs!).
19.) Be able to talk about sports. Intelligently. Same goes for politics and current events.
20.) Have fun, dammit.
21.) Donate as much as you can to causes you believe in.
22.) Having a pet makes a new place finally feel like home.
23.) Never underestimate a good creme brulee.
24.) Working with people you get along with is more important than people give it credit for.
25.) Keep discovering who you are.
Without further ado:
1.) That pan that you have in the 500 degree oven really is as hot as you think it is.
2.) If all else fails, turn on Eric Clapton.
3.) Sometimes, clutching your favorite stuffed animal and having a good cry is the only solution.
4.) In the immortal words of my best friend Amy, "We may not be able to drink the pain away, but we can sure as hell numb it." Especially true when accompanied by a bottle of wine.
5.) People who consider themselves cultural elitists (aka those whose opinion on music/movies/TV is far superior to yours) are closed minded jerks who are missing the true point. As long as it makes you feel something and brings you joy how can that be bad?
6.) Chocolate can solve all the world's problems.
7.) No matter how big a deal you make out of the major moments in life, the things you'll remember most are the little things.
8.) Nothing beats a midnight run to McDonald's for sweet tea and fries.
9.) Having your heart shattered to bits sucks.
10.) Always make time for shoe shopping.
11.) Bullies are a way of helping you realize your inner strength.
12.) Never try to explain migraines to someone who has never had one. They think they're just really bad headaches. They're not.
13.) Find a place (or places) on the planet that you love. They make bad days/moments/weeks/months/years better knowing that they exist.
14.) Laugh, for chrissakes.
15.) Have a favorite movie.
16.) Listen.
17.) When the world is closing in and you feel like it can't get better: go for a drive. Turn the radio up as loud as it can go and roll the windows down. And drive. Fast.
18.) Always have a favorite baseball team (go Cubs!).
19.) Be able to talk about sports. Intelligently. Same goes for politics and current events.
20.) Have fun, dammit.
21.) Donate as much as you can to causes you believe in.
22.) Having a pet makes a new place finally feel like home.
23.) Never underestimate a good creme brulee.
24.) Working with people you get along with is more important than people give it credit for.
25.) Keep discovering who you are.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Why I Don't Buy Kitchen Gadgets
I recently bought a food processor.
I had wanted one for quite some time and finally found the perfect one: red, 10 cups, and under $100!
In the past two days I have made my own hazelnut butter and Nutella (which, seriously, if you have the capability make it yourself - sooooo much better). Unfortunately, this has "released the hounds" in my culinarily creative part of my brain.
What does this mean?
I have raided my cookbooks.
And magazines.
And the Food Network website.
And any website that mentions recipes ever.
I have found more toys to play with in the kitchen than I know what to do with!
I want tart pans.
I want a pop machine.
I want a kitchen torch.
I want a rice cooker.
I want an ice cream maker. (Okay, fine. I've wanted one of these for awhile.)
I want a digital probe oven thermometer.
I want everything in the King Arthur Flour Company catalog.
My kitchen is 8 x 8, so there's not much counter space. I have enough room for my toaster, microwave, and Keurig coffee machine. My waffle maker, food processor and blender now live below my stand mixer (which is on an island thingy from Ikea. So I DO NOT need more gadgets.
But I would totally use a pop machine.
I had wanted one for quite some time and finally found the perfect one: red, 10 cups, and under $100!
In the past two days I have made my own hazelnut butter and Nutella (which, seriously, if you have the capability make it yourself - sooooo much better). Unfortunately, this has "released the hounds" in my culinarily creative part of my brain.
What does this mean?
I have raided my cookbooks.
And magazines.
And the Food Network website.
And any website that mentions recipes ever.
I have found more toys to play with in the kitchen than I know what to do with!
I want tart pans.
I want a pop machine.
I want a kitchen torch.
I want a rice cooker.
I want an ice cream maker. (Okay, fine. I've wanted one of these for awhile.)
I want a digital probe oven thermometer.
I want everything in the King Arthur Flour Company catalog.
My kitchen is 8 x 8, so there's not much counter space. I have enough room for my toaster, microwave, and Keurig coffee machine. My waffle maker, food processor and blender now live below my stand mixer (which is on an island thingy from Ikea. So I DO NOT need more gadgets.
But I would totally use a pop machine.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Coping Mechanism
I have two strange ways of dealing with things.
1) If I'm stressed I'll look up planes that are leaving to go somewhere other than here that are leaving in about 2 hours. I figure that gives me enough time to get to the airport and board the plane. I take it all the way up to actually entering in credit card information.
2) If I'm scared about something, I'll do something else that scares the living daylights out of me.
#2 has served me (and my friends/family) well. It usually revolves around me whipping up something in the kitchen. It's how I learned how to make my fantabulous buttercream frosting. It's why I learned to make meringue.
It is also the reason I have started taking guitar lessons.
You see, I turn 25 this May and it scares the pants off me.
Guitar lessons now...climbing Mt. Everest when I turn 40!
(Kidding, Mom. Kidding.)
1) If I'm stressed I'll look up planes that are leaving to go somewhere other than here that are leaving in about 2 hours. I figure that gives me enough time to get to the airport and board the plane. I take it all the way up to actually entering in credit card information.
2) If I'm scared about something, I'll do something else that scares the living daylights out of me.
#2 has served me (and my friends/family) well. It usually revolves around me whipping up something in the kitchen. It's how I learned how to make my fantabulous buttercream frosting. It's why I learned to make meringue.
It is also the reason I have started taking guitar lessons.
You see, I turn 25 this May and it scares the pants off me.
Guitar lessons now...climbing Mt. Everest when I turn 40!
(Kidding, Mom. Kidding.)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Things I Learned In 2010
So 2010 has drawn to a close. It has been an interesting past 365 days. Entertaining as hell - to say the least. So as we usher in 2011, I just wanted to share some things I learned over the past year:
- Chinchillas make wonderful pets. They're adorable AND great training for having a three year old
- You learn a lot about yourself when you live alone
- You do some STRANGE things when you live alone
- I'm a lot stronger than I think I am
- Sometimes popcorn and sorbet are a perfectly acceptable dinner
- I love cream soda
- My will power is insanely strong
- Hitting your elbow can make you pass out
- Passing out at work can cause concern among your coworkers
- I like country music. (Okay, fine, I knew this one. But I'm admitting it out loud without shame.)
- I like being a brunette
- Sometimes difficult things in life are totally worth it
- I love Disney Princess movies
- I want to be like Belle
- I believe in magic
- Reading my horoscope is fun
- I live 5 minutes from work, but if I'm cutting it close I can make it in 3 minutes
- Warm blankets rock
- I love my bunny slippers
- I am honestly quite excited to start 2011
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